Last Day of Work Thoughts

Today marks the official last day of work at the Town and Country Newspaper for me.

I rolled out of bed around 6:30 this morning, showered, did the usual makeup routine, and headed out the door.

I decided I wanted to do something nice for the people who welcomed me back to work alongside them for another summer.

I went to Dunkin Donuts and bought a dozen donuts to share with the office and I was happy.

Not happy that work was over for the summer, but happy due to where I am in life.

Last night, my mom stumbled across a book I made when I was only 9 years old and something I had written down in it struck me as simply “wow”.

Under the “About Me” title, I stated that when I grow up – I wanted to be an actress or journalist.

IMG_6745 (1)
“Journalist” in orange writing of the last line.

Since I was 9, I have wanted to be a freaking journalist and now I am one. (I also wanted to be an actress, but that dream died after joining my middle school play of Robin Hood in sixth grade!)

I wanted to be a journalist so bad when I was younger I created a newspaper for my neighborhood called “Wiztopia” and a classroom newspaper titled “Peeps Press”, which actually gained enough popularity that my principal allowed me to stay in during recess and create publications for the whole grade level.

In fourth grade, we held a “wax museum” where we chose from a list of notable people who were from Pennsylvania, dressed up as them, and gave biographical blurbs to parents and teachers as they walked by. And of course, I chose a famous journalist (who I am trying so hard to remember and find pictures of me dressed up as!)

In middle school, I was apart of the school newspaper, “Jefferson Street Journal”, which met after school.

In high school, I took a journalism/mass media class and wrote for the school newspaper edition called “Tribal Tribune”. I also landed an internship at the Town and Country Newspaper during my junior year (with the help of my favorite teacher – thanks Q!)

I never realized what a huge impact this passion had on my soul, it’s as if this is my destiny, and I didn’t quite understand until I walked in the office doors this morning holding a box of donuts for my coworkers.

I am happy, as well as, proud. 

“Wait, What’s Your Major?”

This is a question I get a lot, especially during the summer as college gets closer (8 days away!).

As of right now, I am majoring in Sociology and minoring in Journalism/Communications.

For those who don’t know, Sociology is the study of development, structure, and functioning of human society. AKA, the “sister” study of Psychology.

I decided to choose Sociology as my major and not Journalism for multiple reasons:

  1. A Sociology degree lays the groundwork for various fields (Social Work, Public Relations, Urban Planning, etc.)
  2. I took a Sociology class my junior year and loved it/got good grades
  3. Journalism, at this time and age, is highly criticized and I was afraid of what the field would be like four years from now
  4. I was hoping to possibly blend my major and minor into a single career
  5. My desired college/living location (Journalism flourishes in big cities and towns, I am a small town kind of gal)

Picking Sociology as my major and Journalism as my minor also helped me choose what college location I wanted.

I desired a small school with decent amount of people (no less than 1,000 but no more than 10,000) located somewhere that could be considered suburban or rural.

Penn State Harrisburg fits that bill completely. Located eight miles outside of the Pennsylvania state capital Harrisburg with approx. 5,000 students enrolled, I can have the small town feel yet go to an urban scene if I wanted.

Being so close to Harrisburg also allows me to either take the government/social work route or public relations/journalist path with whichever one I desired.

So yes, I majored in Sociology. Let’s face it, I can easily change my major after my first year if I decide to! 🙂

The Awesome Blogger Award

The sweet soul I introduced before, lifeonplanetearth2017, nominated me for yet another blogger award and I am so happy!!!

NOW FOR THE RULES:

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the Reader
  • Answer the questions your nominator gave you
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers
  • Give your nominees 10 new questions
  • Let your nominees know they have been nominated

Answers:

  • If you are granted one wish, what would you wish for?
    • I would wish for a free college education. I just looked at my financial aid one more time along with my loans, and oh boy. Also, I would wish for a window seat in my dorm room so I could read against the window.
  • Who/what has inspired you the most?
    •  I wouldn’t say a single person or event inspires me, over time it has been a tiny bit of everything that has inspired me to what I want to do in life.
  • What is your daily mantra?
    • “I honor my spirit and trust my vibes” or “with change comes opportunity”
  • What do you like the most about yourself?
    • What I like the most about myself is my ability to not give in to peer pressure. I know what I am comfortable and not comfortable with.
  • What do you do when you want to relax yourself?
    • When I want to relax, I normally go in my room or somewhere by myself. I like to have candles lit as well, maybe read or write depending on my mood.
  • One song that describes your life right now.
  • What do you fear the most?
    • If I am going to be honest, death scares me the most, along with natural disasters.
  • What do you think is the best thing that could happen to you right now?
    • If I was given lots of money or a cat (I really want a cat)
  • How do you describe yourself?
    • I would like to think I am a kind person, who tries to balance everything, but I am not perfect. I would say I am a mix of bubbly and shy almost.
  • If you could live the rest of your life in an anime, or a movie what would it be and why?
    • Dragon Ball Z for an anime! My boyfriend got me involved with the series and I have learned to love/appreciate it. Plus the characters are pretty bada**! As for a movie, I would love to live in the world of Brother Bear. That is my absolute favorite Disney movie.

I Nominate:

My Questions:

  1. How would you describe yourself?
  2. Coffee, tea, or water and why?
  3. Favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
  4. What movie or TV show can you watch over and over?
  5. What do you value most in life?
  6. What interests you?
  7. Why do you continue to blog?
  8. Favorite food?
  9. Unusual fact about you?
  10. If you could meet one celebrity,who would it be?

Can’t wait to see your responses! 🙂

A Trip Down Memory Lane

On Saturday night, my cousin and his girlfriend were heading to a concert in Camden and asked if I could watch their new puppy, Coco.

Of course I was delighted, a whole night of puppy time. However, I got an unexpected surprise out of the visit.

My cousin and his girlfriend recently moved in to my grandparent’s old house. A house that I once lived in too, (for approximately one summer and month going into 5th grade.)

My parents at the time thought it was a great idea, having a big yard and in-ground pool. After some time though, with our old house still on the market and rough period adjusting to new schools and community, we moved back.

And while I was walking Coco through the big backyard that cool Saturday night, nostalgia hit me.

I remembered vividly going down the edge of the property where the creek sat when I was a kid, finding “cool” rocks, pretending to be damsel in distress, and trying to lure the outside cat Misty to the water.

I remembered the sound of the lightly flowing creek that now sits patiently still among the fallen tree limbs and overgrown plants at its edge.

The aged volleyball net and tether ball game we use to play on hot summer days, gone. All five fury kittens that Misty had and I loved dearly, gone.

However, despite the waves of nostalgia, I felt content with Coco prancing by my side.

This house always made me feel content in some way, – this was the house that my mother and her siblings grew up in, it was a house of memories and love.

I had not realized how much this property had changed over the past seven years, for I had not realized how much I have changed these past seven years.

In that moment I felt as old as this house. I felt all the old memories, the laughter and joy, the egg hunt activities on Easter, the hot summer days spent lounging in the pool – I felt it all.

As I sit here writing this post, I have exactly eleven days until move in and my unexpected gift that I didn’t know I needed was this trip down memory lane, one last time.

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“What are your Demons?”

Publishing your inner thoughts for other eyes to examine, pick apart, or ridicule is simply gut wrenching. It’s an inevitable feeling of crippling anxiety entangled with endless unwanted thoughts. Clicking that blue “publish” button on the top right corner of the dimly lit screen is a moment of sincere dread. Turning in your fresh, vulnerable article to the editor is utterly daunting.

 

Am I going to be heard?

“Are my words going to be appreciated?”

“Are the ones who I love going to help raise me from this foundation or utterly make fun of me?”

“Do I want to put myself in this position of potentially ruining my self-esteem for my one true passion?”

 

These fears creep into my mind as I finish pounding words of thought and deep emotion into my keyboard.

“I am not enough”

“Why am I a journalist? I can’t compete with others”

“Everyone hates my blog anyways”

“No one cares about what I have to say so why even try?”

 

I feel the tension, the exasperation of family, friends, and coworkers who subtly hint at me that they don’t care about my words or thoughts.  

 

“People hate seeing my stuff online”

“Stop writing, you are just a nuisance”

 

But as I sit in this aged chair with rain drops starting to make it’s appearance on the glossy office window, I slowly understand the magic behind the challenge.

“I am more than a girl who is anxious”

“I am a journalist”

“I am a blogger”

“I am me”

 

And as the rain begins to fall harder against the glass, the budding flower outside must learn to understand how glorious it will become with time.

Feature Excitement

For those who don’t know, I have been working at my local newspaper, the Town and Country, for two summers now.

Working here is an incredible opportunity and has shaped my desires for the future drastically (in a good way).

I have secretly loved journalism since I first took the course during my sophomore year in high school. I was lucky enough to get an internship here at the paper the summer going into my senior year.

Recently, I wrote a feature about a certified therapy dog named Ola who visits a local manor care facility here in town.

The link to the online version is here: http://www.upvnews.com/news/article.ashx?article=17822 

I hope you read and enjoy! 🙂

 

Afternoon Thunderstorms

I’ll be quite frank, I am a complete anxious mess when it comes to thunderstorms.

My fear or anxiety of thunderstorms doesn’t have a direct root, no childhood memory that drives this unreasonable feeling. (Maybe it is the loud thunder, who knows)

The anxiety flares as soon as I hear the weatherman say anything about a severe thunderstorm or that obnoxious beeping warning that appears on my phone, radio, or TV.

When storms arrive, my instincts are to hide under a blanket and watch shows I enjoy to take my mind off of the hell that is going outside my door.

Today, I couldn’t do that as I watched hail pound the ground through the big office window at work.

Eventually, the hail chunks turned into pouring rain that monstrous winds blew sideways.

I put my “big girl pants” on and dealt with it, kept working, and forced my anxiety down.

Seems silly, but I am proud of myself. Feels like a mini accomplishment for not letting my anxiety control my thoughts. 🙂

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Tickled Tennis Thoughts

All four years of high school I have played a sport that I love and slowly, but surely, I moved up in position on my varsity tennis team to first doubles during my senior year.

Tennis season was always my favorite and as senior year came closer I considered playing in college.

I continuously jumped between thoughts of – “yes, I have to play” – and –“maybe not, maybe it will be too much for me” 

After I applied to a scholarship through my school, I was contacted by the Penn State Harrisburg tennis coach saying her husband saw on my resume that I played all four years of high school tennis and if I was interested in joining their team.

The coach and I talked on the phone for a good hour and afterwards I was super excited.

The season is primarily in the spring, DIII college, with a few night practices a week.

What did I have to lose?

After talking to my parents, I felt very confident and told the coach a few weeks later that I was in.

With 16 days until my college move-in, the nerves are building, but I am so excited to be apart of a team once again.

I will have the opportunity to play the sport I love (just like my older brother played ice hockey for Penn State), all the while traveling and making new friends.

(fun fact: one of my roommates is also going to be playing and I am so happy!)

Do you play tennis? let me know in the comments! 🙂

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A Sign of Hope

I am going to be super real and honest with this post – lately  I have been struggling emotionally with the thought of growing up and going to college.

I know, this is normal thoughts and feelings of a recently turned 18 year old. However, this has been effecting my family as well.

My  mother and I have been having conflicts – emotions clashing with high tension pouring out from our words – this is something we are not use to and do not want three weeks before I leave.

We have always been very open with each other, how we are feeling and why.

For both of us, this new chapter of independence/freedom is straining our relationship, but it is okay. This is needed, for this change is inevitable and we needed to work out our feelings.

After a couple days of not bringing up the topic, we talked.

We talked, expressed our fears/wishes, and we were okay.

After, I left to go to my friend’s graduation party, I saw something that confirmed my beliefs.

Two big, yellow butterflies were flying together across the road while I was stopped at a stop sign.

For those who don’t know, yellow butterflies symbolize emotional growth, as well as, moving through cycle of life and personality.

We are going to be okay and college is going to be exactly what I need.

Starbucks, Makeup, & Pizza

I am 99.9% sure I lived every young girl’s ideal activities yesterday.

After I got done work I met up with my friend Heather, someone I should have hung out with outside of school way before this summer, and we had two things in mind:

  1. Get the Starbucks “pink drink”
  2. Shop for makeup at Ulta (pretty basic, right?)

Even if it was “basic” I had a blast, besides endlessly scratching the mosquito bites I received from fishing the night before.

I had Heather show me around Ulta, basically guiding me to products that would benefit me most and help me crush the gift card I had (I’ll admit it, I don’t know much about makeup at all).

I learned a lot by spending the afternoon with Heather and I am so glad we could fit it into my schedule.

Later that night, I camped out with my long time best-friend Jamie.

The night was filled with endless giggles over dumb YouTube videos, along with, our tradition of ordering Domino’s pizza.

I also did see a dragonfly around Jamie and I at one part of the night, but I kept that to myself.

It was days like this that make me realize that friendships are valuable and do need polishing sometimes, you get what you give and not every friendship is perfect.

The day was also symbolic of making new friends all the while still being connected to those that have been there since elementary, almost similar to what I will be encountering once college starts.

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